Thank you to everyone who added their advice and tips. Here’s my latest what do you think? How can I make it better?
Don’t read one of your grandmother’s old love stories read this hot and juicy book.
Odette had more than her share of heartache. She decided to date only happily married men who planned to stay married. Just fun and games, no strings attached, protecting herself from heartache was her priority.
When Wilhelm, the new UPS guy delivers to her office attraction sparks between them. He was recently divorced and wanted with sleeping with as many women as he could to make up for lost time. He became obsessed with making Odette one of his conquests and she rejected he flirting.
Can they overcome their walls of self-protection? Or will they fail to let their hearts feel love?
Hidden Temptation 
Just here to wish you well, Kim! It’s amazing how hard it is to summarise; even when it’s your own work. 🙂
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I never would have thought.
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in searching for some kind of constructive criticism, the only one i could really conjure up was the first line ends with “this hot and juicy book”, yet towards the end of the the blurb we have “she rejected he flirting.” i would suppose their internal struggles depicted in the last line of the blurb occur while she is with married men and he is out seeking new conquests, and for a good part of the book this is where the “hot and juicy” is found. so maybe in some way to indicate that the two of them go through their struggle against this backdrop of their chosen coping mechanisms.
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Hum. . . you’re right and I thought I got it. Back to the drawing board . . .uh the word processor. 🙂 Thanks for your insight.
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i don’t think much needs to be changed, just a connecting hint that what happens between the two of them is happening at the same time they are continuing alongside the married men / “conquests” action
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Is this a little better?
Don’t read one of your grandmother’s old love stories read this hot and juicy book.
About Odette’s life of struggles and disappointments that prompted her to date only happily married men. Those who planned to stay married. Men who only want discreet lust with no strings attached. At the same time Odette keeps her heart protected.
When Wilhelm, the new UPS guy delivers to Odette’s office the attraction between them creates sparks.
Wilhelm was recently divorced and wants to sleep with as many women as possible to make up for lost time. He became obsessed with making Odette one of his conquests but she continually rejects his flirting.
Can they overcome their walls of self-protection? Or will they fail to let their hearts feel love?
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yeah that’s better. i think having sparks ending a passage creates a sense that it is more than the two of them making eyes at one another.
if pushed to add just one thing, i might add “continually rejects his flirting and returns to her married men.” This is implied in the what you wrote, but maybe i am just coming from the hit-them-with-a-2×4 approach to blurb writing (and being no expert by any means on that front).
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You’re a reader right? So you know what would attract you. I appreciate the help. Writing this blurb is harder then writing the novel.
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i hear you. probably the most challenging writing assignment i had in college was to write a “summary” of a novel or some historical book in one page or less.
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That’s one of the reason when I did the flash fictions I made sure to not go over the word count. That is a great exercise in learning how to eliminate excess words.
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