Hidden Temptation Final Synopsis

I’m tired.  I have stayed focus on this conference with Penguin Books.  I’ve been tweaking, deleting, rewriting, and reading these words over and over.  I’m sharing them this last time with you. The conference is in 4 days and I can’t see anymore typos or areas that need improvement. Will you show some love and let me know if something is not right or could be improved.

 

After ODETTE HAWKINS, the third girl born to LYDIA and THOMAS HAWKINS there are complications that causes Lydia to have a complete hysterectomy. This ends any chance of Thomas having a legitimate son. Lydia sits in the bed nursing Odette Thomas ignores the baby and squeezes Lydia’s cheeks together and bangs her head into the headboard. This is the start of years of abuse.

 

Lydia is from a time when women quietly endured the black eyes, sprain wrist, broken arms, ribs, and nose. Odette’s sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBINSON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try over and over to convince Lydia to leave Thomas to no avail. While the sisters still live at home they try to protect rescue their mother. Odette always hides when these violent tantrums and outbursts erupts.

 

Odette’s first and last boyfriend THURMAN is possessive, one day he chokes Odette in the school gym. Her sisters go to the high school, against her wishes. The sisters attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. This is when Odette decides to never have a serious relationship and creates her dating rule that will shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex. Married men are already in committed relationship.

 

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman with a Carmel completion, high cheekbones, a slender nose and thin lips. Her shoulder length hair is dark brown with blond streaks. She has champagne size breast, a small waist and wide hips. Despite being an introvert Odette will speak her mind when necessary.

 

 

Odette is not very sociable she only has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters, who are nine and twelve years older than her, to do the same.

 

 

Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her. Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothing, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has excellent health coverage and a life insurance policy through her company that also matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation a year. What else does she need?

 

 

At the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK, who is the new UPS delivery man where Odette works in. Wilhelm’s father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran who becomes addicted to heroin to treat his PTSD after the veteran doctors declares him well. Edward steals from his family and lies to them. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone but his mother, ARABELL POLK a retired school teacher who has a stroke. She is a resident of the same nursing home Odette’s mother is in.

 

 

Wilhelm is on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he’s not married. He doesn’t care about Odette’s rule. He just wants to spend time exploring her sexually. After meeting they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives. They bump into each other at work, in their neighborhood even at the diner where they have breakfast.

 

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the current married man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Odette is furious; she thought they were going to spend the night together. After a quickie Oscar leaves and makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of several hotel amenities such as ordering expensive room service, cleaning out the mini bar and helping themselves to the complimentary bathrobes when they check out. They leave an excessive bill.

 

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the outrages charges on their credit card. Oscar is enraged, this is the beginning of a dangerous game of back and forth revenge against him and Odette.

 

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE. Tom is jealous of Odette’s relationship with the owners of the advertising agency. After Toms’ termination, he blames Odette and vows revenge.

 

 

KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing, after having several nights of hot, slippery, and climatic sex game Wilhelm starts ignoring Kia’s calls and texts. She decides to follow Wilhelm. She discovers he’s spending time with another woman, her jealousy thoughts take over. Kia is looking for a husband to secure a United States resident card. Kia believes Wilhelm will be perfect and is not willing to give up.

 

 

The hostilities developing between Oscar, Tom, and Kia may prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

HIDDEN TEMPTATION is a story that involves the challenges most families face. Odette is emotionally scarred after witnessing several years of her mother’s black eyes and broken bones from her father who ignores her because she was born a girl. This makes Odette an introvert and cautious when developing friendships outside her family. She believes her rule dating only married men is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.

 

 

Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry, Odette is not interest in.

 

If it doesn’t work out with Penguin Books here’s the blurb for when I self publish.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she even learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she’s building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.

 

Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule that she refuses to break. That doesn’t stop Wilhelm from pursuing her.

 

Odette has several conflicts with her office manager Tom. Wilhelm’s booty call becomes jealous of Odette. While Odette’s lover Oscar is plotting revenge for causing friction between him and his wife.

 

Will the hostilities developing prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both? Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase HIDDEN TEMPTATION and find out today.

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Synopsis for Hidden Temptation

After ODETTE HAWKINS is born her mother, LYDIA HAWKINS is forced to have a hysterectomy. This disappoints her father, THOMAS HAWKINS who desperately wants a legitimate son to carry on his name.

 

Thomas ignores Odette and viciously abuses Lydia. Her sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBISON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try to protect and help Lydia while Odette hides from Thomas violent tantrums and outbursts.

 

Odette first and last boyfriend, THURMAN is possessive and chokes her. Her sisters go to the high school against Odette’s wishes. They attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. Odette decides never have a serious relationship and creates rules to shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex.

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman who speaks her mind. She has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters who are nine and twelve years older than her visit their mother also. Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her.

 

Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothes, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has an excellent health and life insurance policies, and the company matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation time a year.

 

During the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK. His father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran whose becomes a heroin addict to treat his PTS. Edward steals from his family and lies about it. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Because of his past relationships with his father and ex-wife Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone except his mother, ARABELL POLK.

 

Wilhelm is the new UPS man delivering to Odette’s office. Wilhelm’s on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he lacks the one thing that will convince her to date him. He doesn’t care he just wants to spend some time screwing her. After they meet they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives.

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Thinking they were going to spend the night together Odette becomes furious after they have a quickie and he leaves. He makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of all the hotel amenities and accrue an expensive bill.

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the excessive charges to their credit card. Oscar is enraged that his wife learns about the hotel charges. Odette and Oscar engage in a dangerous game of revenge against each other.

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE and KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing. Both are jealous of Odette. These hostilities may prove fatal.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

Hidden Temptation is a story that involves the challenges most family face. Odette is emotionally scarred from witnessing her mother’s vicious abuse and being ignored by her father. This makes her an introvert and cautious about developing friendships outside her family. She believes her dating rule is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.
Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry a concept Odette has no interest in.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she starts building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.
Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule she refuses to break.
Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase Hidden Temptation and find out today.

 

 

Be honest do you see any typos? Are you curious? Do you want to read Hidden Temptation based on what I described here? Please help I have until Friday June 3rd to come up with the words to impress US editors at Penguin Books a subsidiary of Random House.

Not Another Blurb

I know I should be blogging more but life is busy these days. I want to get my blurb just right. I wrote another and really hope that you guys will give me some honest feed back. Does is make you interest enough to want to read Hidden Temptation? No? What will make it more appealing? Need more? Remember Odette only dates married men and Wilhelm was recently divorced and plans on being a player. Should that be included in the blurb.

 

Odette is a strong independent woman who is emotionally scarred. She hides behind a wall preventing her from finding a meaningful relationship. That is until she meets the new UPS guy delivering to her office. Wilhelm is battling his own demons.

Both of them face challenges with self-absorbed lovers and overly involved family members. Odette is also having disagreements with the new office manager at her job, which is more of an annoyance then a problem.

Despite all their best efforts to avoid falling for each other, Odette and Wilhelm find themselves becoming attracted.

Can they overcome each other’s well-built walls of self-protection? Or will they once again fail to let their hearts feel what love is?  (thanks Jackie- see comments)

No More Editing.

 

 

I went to the A writing Club Meeting that I found on Meet Up. I wasn’t sure what to expect, except that there would be writers.  I took the synopsis for Hidden Temptation and the blurbs I’ve been playing with. I had the most recent poem I wrote and my tablet in case I wanted something from my blog.

 

 

When I introduced myself I mentioned that I wanted feedback on my blurb. The group suggested that I ask my beta readers to tell me what my book was about.  I thought that was a good idea. I decided to share my poem Moments Tick Away and wait until I received feedback from those who read Hidden Temptation.

 

 

I read my poem. It has been a while since I read in front of a live audience. I think I did okay considering I didn’t practice. The poem was well received and stimulated little criticism. Maybe I should have read the blurb.

 

 

To get more information about the meeting go to Silently Heard Once.

 

 

Update on Hidden Temptation I saw a typo on the first page and I considered editing once again. Just the thought of that gave me a headache.

 

 

I still haven’t written my dedication page or my acknowledgements. I still didn’t write the poem to replace the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. Dwight, my artist, was recently hospitalized. So I’m still waiting on my cover. Not to mention I need a new photo to highlight my new sassy haircut.

 

 

April 15th is just five days away.  I don’t think I’ll be ready.  It looks like I’m going to have to push my release date again. I guess that’s okay it gives me more time to stimulate more of a buzz about Hidden Temptation.

 

 

If I was working with a publisher they would probably drop me for not meeting my deadline not once but twice.  Look at it this way I’m not rushing, or am I?

 

Now that I’m feeling better I hope to get back to blogging more consistently.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Comments are welcome.

 

 

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel, and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I pick up reading other novels, and what I learn in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

A Peak of Tempation

The following is an excerpt from chapter one of Hidden Temptation.

 

Odette hobbles onto the bus going away from the subway station toward her home. Its times like this she wishes for a boyfriend. Someone she could call to pick her up and take her home, wait for her, drive her to work to avoid dealing with public transportation and not be late. It would make life so much easier. But boyfriends are more trouble than they’re worth.

 

 

She had a boyfriend once and that was almost twenty years ago. Thurman Cross, he was the star player on her high school varsity basketball team. All the girls wanted his attention but he was attracted to Odette. She wasn’t a cheerleader, she wasn’t popular, in fact the only friend she had was Hymie Davis, and she didn’t meet him until she started dating Thurman. Hymie had a tendency to be annoying and didn’t know how to police his tongue and would say whatever came to mind. He often laughed and made fun of people which caused him to be bullied.

 

 

On this particular day, back in high school Odette was sitting alone, as usual, in the school cafeteria when Hymie ran in and crawled under her table. Thurman and a few of the other basketball players came charging in after him. When Thurman saw Odette he made a pivotal stop in front of her. “A . . . er did you see that little punk come running in here?” he asked.

 

 

Odette was about to take a sip from the straw in her chocolate milk. She glanced down at Hymie, his dark brown puppy dog eyes were looking up at her. His lips were bent down in a frown and his hands were pressed together in front of his face as if he was praying. He was silently begging please, please, please. She took a sip of milk to keep from smiling, brushed her flaming red hair away from her face to reveal high cheek bones with soft lips that matched the color of her hair and light brown eyes that twinkled. She smiled and said. “No I didn’t see anyone run in here.”

 

 

Thurman bent all six feet, six inches down to become eye level with Odette. He had long thick eyelashes and soft curly hair. Odette noticed when he smiled his teeth were straight and white with small gaps in between. She was in awe.

 

 

What do you think?

Does it need more work?

How are the tenses?  I tried to keep the present written with the present and the past with the past. How did I do?

I really value your opinion.

Set Back, Push Back, I’m Back

Greetings friends,

 

I apologize for not checking in before now.  On my main blog Silently Heard Once  I shared that I was in the hospital for a few days.  I posted A Whatever   it explains it all.  I don’t want to go into it on this blog because this blog is for Hidden Temptation not my personal struggle but my struggles with writing.

 

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since my hospitalization.    I sent a query and five pages of Hidden Temptation to an agent I decided to read what I sent.  I should have read it before I sent it because in those five pages I screwed up the tenses, bad.  So I’m editing again.  I have less than 100 pages to go.  But this has caused me to push back my release date.  I’m targeting April 30th.  That really a go day. Sad for me because in 1993 on that date my mother left this earth and my life changed.  Maybe releasing it on that day will be another life changing experience.

 

Dwight my artist who promised me the cover hasn’t started.  I don’t know if he will have something ready by then but it will work out.

 

I started writing a short story I posted on Silently Heard Once.  Please feel free to read and I hope you enjoy.  The Curse.

 

One more thing.  I found this group called meetup it’s finding events in your community that feeds your interest.  I’ve found writers in my area and can’t wait to start meeting and networking.

 

I Don’t Want to be Influenced

When I started writing Hidden Temptation I wouldn’t read any novels. I didn’t want to be influenced or accidentally plagiarize. I was and still am an avid reader. I thought I was doing the right thing. I still watched TV and movies. I couldn’t be influenced by them right. Yea I’m sure I could have been. At the time, I didn’t think so.

 

 
I wrote the first draft of a novel titled Ruination. I wrote that while I was working a nine to five job. I would come home from work lock myself in the attic and pound on my word processor until two or three o’clock in the morning. Then I would wake up at seven, I got the kids up for school, dropped them off then went to work, where I was able to steal a few naps. Shh!! I would come home and do it all over again. I was free to work on my novel non-stop. My ex, took care of the kids and house. I wasn’t neglecting my kids, well maybe a little.

 

 
Ruination was about a Post-apocalyptic world. The earth was destroyed by world war three and people were looting, hoarding food, and trying to get everything back in order. I never went back to edit. I have a copy maybe someday. However I believed I was influenced by Stephen King’s, The Stand. At the time, the movie had just aired on TV. I read the original book when it first came out and I read the extended version when that came out. I was a fan of Stephen King and I especially liked The Stand. The story was embedded in my head. Ruination was an original story but I’m not sure. I kind of filled in the parts that King overlooked. Maybe it was nothing like The Stand but I thought it was.

 

 
That was why I wouldn’t read anything when I started writing Hidden Temptation. Later I thought since I was writing a love story I’ll just avoid reading love stories. No problem there. I’m not really a love story kind of reader anymore. So why did I write a love story?  I read enough love stories in my lifetime and experienced a few love affairs of my own over the years. Write what you know!

 

 
I realize as I edited Hidden Temptation I was wrong. Reading books while writing may have helped me with my writing skills. I say that because I took a screenwriting class some years ago. The instructor gave us a movie assignment to watch. In the following class, we would evaluate the movie. In doing so we learned what worked and what didn’t. We were learning from watching, we learned what worked and what didn’t. The only influence I had was learning to avoid the mistakes and perfecting what was ingenious about the movies we watched.

 

 

To this day, I still watch the movie critically. When I read books I evaluate what I read. I still enjoy movies and books I read I just do so with a different eye.

 

 
As a result, I wrote two screenplays. One I sent to The Library of Congress to be copyright, I don’t have a copy. The second one was good but I got frustrated and tossed it in the garbage. I did that because the movie Click came out and it was about a remote control that transported Adam Sandler in time. My screenplay was about time travel but it had a different concept. The only thing that mimicked Click was the remote control, my screenplay used a beeper.  It was the 90’s we used beepers, car phones, as they were called back then, were for the rich.  I wanted my idea to be original. It was except for the remote/ beeper thing. Young and dumb.  However, I won’t share particulars because I might write the story again. I think the idea I had would be relevant today.

 

 
Do you avoid reading when you’re working on a writing project?

Do you think reading helps you become a better writer?

You Can Quote Me

I read somewhere that writers should avoid using cliques. I include quotes in that advice. That is unless your character speaks in quotes. That would be an interesting character. If you fancy creating someone like that in your writing feel free.

 

 

I think refraining from using quotes and cliques is a good idea. It’s my novel and I want my talent, my words to shine. One day I want my words to be quoted. Don’t you?

 

 

Before each of my chapters I have quotes that I got off the internet. I’m using them to give my readers an idea of what’s going to happen in that following chapter. I also have a couple of song quotes. Researching on Goggle I need permission to use the quotes and there are many exceptions. I got dizzy trying to figure out what is okay wand what is not. It depends on where you find the quote. Is it from a free domain site? Then it’s okay to use.  It also depends on the date of the quote. I read if the quote is over 75 years old it is safe to use. Another site said if the quote is written before 1923 it is no longer is protected by copyright laws. There is a catch, some old quotes, books, and songs can have updated copyrights. Then you will need permission.

 

 

Digging through 28 chapters of quotes to see if I can use them or where to request permission for all is too much work. I put a lot of work in writing and editing Hidden Temptation. I don’t need to do any extra so I’m deleting the quote and song references. Why don’t I take my chances? Because I hope Hidden Temptation becomes one of The New York Times bestseller’s top 20. If that happens I could be sued. I can’t afford to be sued even if I become a millionaire. Do I sound materialistic? I’m not it will be nice to not have to worry about money.

 

 

I going top try to give each chapter a title or not. Maybe I’ll write a poem with 28 lines or more. This will make it easier to quote me. Yes, I want my words to be famous before I die.  I’ll keep you posted.

 

Do you like using quotes? Why?

 

After reading this will you still use quotes?

 

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

 

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel, and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I pick up reading other novels, and what I learn in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.