Not Another Blurb

I know I should be blogging more but life is busy these days. I want to get my blurb just right. I wrote another and really hope that you guys will give me some honest feed back. Does is make you interest enough to want to read Hidden Temptation? No? What will make it more appealing? Need more? Remember Odette only dates married men and Wilhelm was recently divorced and plans on being a player. Should that be included in the blurb.

 

Odette is a strong independent woman who is emotionally scarred. She hides behind a wall preventing her from finding a meaningful relationship. That is until she meets the new UPS guy delivering to her office. Wilhelm is battling his own demons.

Both of them face challenges with self-absorbed lovers and overly involved family members. Odette is also having disagreements with the new office manager at her job, which is more of an annoyance then a problem.

Despite all their best efforts to avoid falling for each other, Odette and Wilhelm find themselves becoming attracted.

Can they overcome each other’s well-built walls of self-protection? Or will they once again fail to let their hearts feel what love is?  (thanks Jackie- see comments)

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Pitching to Random House

Random House, which was founded by Bennett Cerf and Donald Klophfer in either 1925 or 1927 it is one if the largest general interest trade book publishing houses, not only in New York but around the world. They have offices in Spain, The United Kingdom, New Zealand, South Africa, and China. Random House has international companies with many partners that are just as well know. Penguin House, Ballatine Books , Crown Publishing , I even notice Double Day Books  which is under the banner of Penguin House. Please go to the links and peak at the writers and books they represent to see how huge they are.

 

 

No Random House hasn’t signed me to publish Hidden Temptation, yet. Are you curious to know why I’m sharing this trivia with your?  The NY Writing Group host says he is speaking with Random house to invite one of their editor to attend our group. Yea, how cool is that? I feel the butterflies somersaulting in my stomach just thinking about it.  Or is that gas?

 

 

Also Random House will be hosting an open house with their editors and publishers. The cost is  $99 a reasonable cost for someone still working.  For a person on Social Security it’s a matter of giving up some medication for a month.
Our host, the voice of reason suggests that we’re confident our work is completely ready. You guys know I’ve edited Hidden Temptation for over a year. I keep finding something wrong. Many of you tell me there has to come a time to just say it’s ready and release.

 

 

But this is Random House! It is a big deal to meet editors, publishers, and possible agents. I would have the opportunity to pitch Hidden Temptation. I will be so close to my dream I’ll be able to smell the ink from the printing press.

 

 

The $99 is just one hurdle the other is pitching Hidden Temptation. When I tell people what Hidden Temptation is about they get excited and say it sounds good. Will good be enough for Random House? Will I even be able to pitch Hidden Temptation without stuttering and mumbling my words? This isn’t any ordinary stranger, this is someone who has the ability to make my dreams come true, The NY Writing Club won’t be meeting for a month and when we do resume meeting, it’s possible a Random editor will be there and we’ll have an opportunity to pitch our work. Again I ask my sometime(y) self-confidence can you do it Silent Kim? Can you make yourself heard for real?

 

 

I run my mouth a lot. Can I run my mouth when it’s important, at an opportunity to woo an editor to find interest in Hidden Temptation? Hell yea! To not try is already a fail. At my age, with my health, this is a one in a lifetime opportunity for me. What the hell do I have to lose? I put so much of myself into Hidden Temptation. I am proud that it’s compete. It’s a story with many twist and turns. The genres over lap and I believe it’s full of emotions. But will an editor at Ransom House think so?

 

 

If I pitch and the editor isn’t interest it will be the closest I’ll ever get to mainstream publishing. That in itself, will give me bragging rights.

 

Somewhere in the future.

I’ll sit with my grandchild that has the writing bug in the near future and say to them. “You know some years back I pitched for Random House. They weren’t interested but I’m proud that a publishing House of that magnitude listened to me.”

 

Or the story could go this way.

“I remember when I pitched my first novel Hidden Temptation to a Random editor. Boy was I nervous.” I smile and shake my head. “I was ecstatic when they said I might have something there and offered to work with me. See my dream came true. So could yours.”

 

If it doesn’t work out for me at Random House I have Create Space and Amazon to publish Hidden Temptation.

 

A Peak of Tempation

The following is an excerpt from chapter one of Hidden Temptation.

 

Odette hobbles onto the bus going away from the subway station toward her home. Its times like this she wishes for a boyfriend. Someone she could call to pick her up and take her home, wait for her, drive her to work to avoid dealing with public transportation and not be late. It would make life so much easier. But boyfriends are more trouble than they’re worth.

 

 

She had a boyfriend once and that was almost twenty years ago. Thurman Cross, he was the star player on her high school varsity basketball team. All the girls wanted his attention but he was attracted to Odette. She wasn’t a cheerleader, she wasn’t popular, in fact the only friend she had was Hymie Davis, and she didn’t meet him until she started dating Thurman. Hymie had a tendency to be annoying and didn’t know how to police his tongue and would say whatever came to mind. He often laughed and made fun of people which caused him to be bullied.

 

 

On this particular day, back in high school Odette was sitting alone, as usual, in the school cafeteria when Hymie ran in and crawled under her table. Thurman and a few of the other basketball players came charging in after him. When Thurman saw Odette he made a pivotal stop in front of her. “A . . . er did you see that little punk come running in here?” he asked.

 

 

Odette was about to take a sip from the straw in her chocolate milk. She glanced down at Hymie, his dark brown puppy dog eyes were looking up at her. His lips were bent down in a frown and his hands were pressed together in front of his face as if he was praying. He was silently begging please, please, please. She took a sip of milk to keep from smiling, brushed her flaming red hair away from her face to reveal high cheek bones with soft lips that matched the color of her hair and light brown eyes that twinkled. She smiled and said. “No I didn’t see anyone run in here.”

 

 

Thurman bent all six feet, six inches down to become eye level with Odette. He had long thick eyelashes and soft curly hair. Odette noticed when he smiled his teeth were straight and white with small gaps in between. She was in awe.

 

 

What do you think?

Does it need more work?

How are the tenses?  I tried to keep the present written with the present and the past with the past. How did I do?

I really value your opinion.