Hidden Temptation Final Synopsis

I’m tired.  I have stayed focus on this conference with Penguin Books.  I’ve been tweaking, deleting, rewriting, and reading these words over and over.  I’m sharing them this last time with you. The conference is in 4 days and I can’t see anymore typos or areas that need improvement. Will you show some love and let me know if something is not right or could be improved.

 

After ODETTE HAWKINS, the third girl born to LYDIA and THOMAS HAWKINS there are complications that causes Lydia to have a complete hysterectomy. This ends any chance of Thomas having a legitimate son. Lydia sits in the bed nursing Odette Thomas ignores the baby and squeezes Lydia’s cheeks together and bangs her head into the headboard. This is the start of years of abuse.

 

Lydia is from a time when women quietly endured the black eyes, sprain wrist, broken arms, ribs, and nose. Odette’s sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBINSON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try over and over to convince Lydia to leave Thomas to no avail. While the sisters still live at home they try to protect rescue their mother. Odette always hides when these violent tantrums and outbursts erupts.

 

Odette’s first and last boyfriend THURMAN is possessive, one day he chokes Odette in the school gym. Her sisters go to the high school, against her wishes. The sisters attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. This is when Odette decides to never have a serious relationship and creates her dating rule that will shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex. Married men are already in committed relationship.

 

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman with a Carmel completion, high cheekbones, a slender nose and thin lips. Her shoulder length hair is dark brown with blond streaks. She has champagne size breast, a small waist and wide hips. Despite being an introvert Odette will speak her mind when necessary.

 

 

Odette is not very sociable she only has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters, who are nine and twelve years older than her, to do the same.

 

 

Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her. Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothing, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has excellent health coverage and a life insurance policy through her company that also matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation a year. What else does she need?

 

 

At the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK, who is the new UPS delivery man where Odette works in. Wilhelm’s father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran who becomes addicted to heroin to treat his PTSD after the veteran doctors declares him well. Edward steals from his family and lies to them. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone but his mother, ARABELL POLK a retired school teacher who has a stroke. She is a resident of the same nursing home Odette’s mother is in.

 

 

Wilhelm is on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he’s not married. He doesn’t care about Odette’s rule. He just wants to spend time exploring her sexually. After meeting they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives. They bump into each other at work, in their neighborhood even at the diner where they have breakfast.

 

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the current married man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Odette is furious; she thought they were going to spend the night together. After a quickie Oscar leaves and makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of several hotel amenities such as ordering expensive room service, cleaning out the mini bar and helping themselves to the complimentary bathrobes when they check out. They leave an excessive bill.

 

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the outrages charges on their credit card. Oscar is enraged, this is the beginning of a dangerous game of back and forth revenge against him and Odette.

 

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE. Tom is jealous of Odette’s relationship with the owners of the advertising agency. After Toms’ termination, he blames Odette and vows revenge.

 

 

KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing, after having several nights of hot, slippery, and climatic sex game Wilhelm starts ignoring Kia’s calls and texts. She decides to follow Wilhelm. She discovers he’s spending time with another woman, her jealousy thoughts take over. Kia is looking for a husband to secure a United States resident card. Kia believes Wilhelm will be perfect and is not willing to give up.

 

 

The hostilities developing between Oscar, Tom, and Kia may prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

HIDDEN TEMPTATION is a story that involves the challenges most families face. Odette is emotionally scarred after witnessing several years of her mother’s black eyes and broken bones from her father who ignores her because she was born a girl. This makes Odette an introvert and cautious when developing friendships outside her family. She believes her rule dating only married men is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.

 

 

Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry, Odette is not interest in.

 

If it doesn’t work out with Penguin Books here’s the blurb for when I self publish.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she even learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she’s building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.

 

Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule that she refuses to break. That doesn’t stop Wilhelm from pursuing her.

 

Odette has several conflicts with her office manager Tom. Wilhelm’s booty call becomes jealous of Odette. While Odette’s lover Oscar is plotting revenge for causing friction between him and his wife.

 

Will the hostilities developing prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both? Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase HIDDEN TEMPTATION and find out today.

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Synopsis for Hidden Temptation

After ODETTE HAWKINS is born her mother, LYDIA HAWKINS is forced to have a hysterectomy. This disappoints her father, THOMAS HAWKINS who desperately wants a legitimate son to carry on his name.

 

Thomas ignores Odette and viciously abuses Lydia. Her sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBISON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try to protect and help Lydia while Odette hides from Thomas violent tantrums and outbursts.

 

Odette first and last boyfriend, THURMAN is possessive and chokes her. Her sisters go to the high school against Odette’s wishes. They attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. Odette decides never have a serious relationship and creates rules to shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex.

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman who speaks her mind. She has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters who are nine and twelve years older than her visit their mother also. Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her.

 

Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothes, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has an excellent health and life insurance policies, and the company matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation time a year.

 

During the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK. His father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran whose becomes a heroin addict to treat his PTS. Edward steals from his family and lies about it. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Because of his past relationships with his father and ex-wife Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone except his mother, ARABELL POLK.

 

Wilhelm is the new UPS man delivering to Odette’s office. Wilhelm’s on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he lacks the one thing that will convince her to date him. He doesn’t care he just wants to spend some time screwing her. After they meet they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives.

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Thinking they were going to spend the night together Odette becomes furious after they have a quickie and he leaves. He makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of all the hotel amenities and accrue an expensive bill.

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the excessive charges to their credit card. Oscar is enraged that his wife learns about the hotel charges. Odette and Oscar engage in a dangerous game of revenge against each other.

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE and KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing. Both are jealous of Odette. These hostilities may prove fatal.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

Hidden Temptation is a story that involves the challenges most family face. Odette is emotionally scarred from witnessing her mother’s vicious abuse and being ignored by her father. This makes her an introvert and cautious about developing friendships outside her family. She believes her dating rule is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.
Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry a concept Odette has no interest in.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she starts building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.
Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule she refuses to break.
Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase Hidden Temptation and find out today.

 

 

Be honest do you see any typos? Are you curious? Do you want to read Hidden Temptation based on what I described here? Please help I have until Friday June 3rd to come up with the words to impress US editors at Penguin Books a subsidiary of Random House.

No More Editing.

 

 

I went to the A writing Club Meeting that I found on Meet Up. I wasn’t sure what to expect, except that there would be writers.  I took the synopsis for Hidden Temptation and the blurbs I’ve been playing with. I had the most recent poem I wrote and my tablet in case I wanted something from my blog.

 

 

When I introduced myself I mentioned that I wanted feedback on my blurb. The group suggested that I ask my beta readers to tell me what my book was about.  I thought that was a good idea. I decided to share my poem Moments Tick Away and wait until I received feedback from those who read Hidden Temptation.

 

 

I read my poem. It has been a while since I read in front of a live audience. I think I did okay considering I didn’t practice. The poem was well received and stimulated little criticism. Maybe I should have read the blurb.

 

 

To get more information about the meeting go to Silently Heard Once.

 

 

Update on Hidden Temptation I saw a typo on the first page and I considered editing once again. Just the thought of that gave me a headache.

 

 

I still haven’t written my dedication page or my acknowledgements. I still didn’t write the poem to replace the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. Dwight, my artist, was recently hospitalized. So I’m still waiting on my cover. Not to mention I need a new photo to highlight my new sassy haircut.

 

 

April 15th is just five days away.  I don’t think I’ll be ready.  It looks like I’m going to have to push my release date again. I guess that’s okay it gives me more time to stimulate more of a buzz about Hidden Temptation.

 

 

If I was working with a publisher they would probably drop me for not meeting my deadline not once but twice.  Look at it this way I’m not rushing, or am I?

 

Now that I’m feeling better I hope to get back to blogging more consistently.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Comments are welcome.

 

 

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel, and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I pick up reading other novels, and what I learn in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

Set Back, Push Back, I’m Back

Greetings friends,

 

I apologize for not checking in before now.  On my main blog Silently Heard Once  I shared that I was in the hospital for a few days.  I posted A Whatever   it explains it all.  I don’t want to go into it on this blog because this blog is for Hidden Temptation not my personal struggle but my struggles with writing.

 

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since my hospitalization.    I sent a query and five pages of Hidden Temptation to an agent I decided to read what I sent.  I should have read it before I sent it because in those five pages I screwed up the tenses, bad.  So I’m editing again.  I have less than 100 pages to go.  But this has caused me to push back my release date.  I’m targeting April 30th.  That really a go day. Sad for me because in 1993 on that date my mother left this earth and my life changed.  Maybe releasing it on that day will be another life changing experience.

 

Dwight my artist who promised me the cover hasn’t started.  I don’t know if he will have something ready by then but it will work out.

 

I started writing a short story I posted on Silently Heard Once.  Please feel free to read and I hope you enjoy.  The Curse.

 

One more thing.  I found this group called meetup it’s finding events in your community that feeds your interest.  I’ve found writers in my area and can’t wait to start meeting and networking.

 

I Pressed Send Too Soon

In an earlier post, I suggested not to underestimate your readers by being redundant. When it comes to vocabulary I think we should try to avoid talking down to readers by overusing words you need a dictionary to help the reader through a paragraph. For me, that takes away from the story. The writer will lose me and I don’t think that’s a good thing. I have an extensive vocabulary and still there are thousands of words I’m not familiar with. I don’t mind being introduced to new words I just don’t want to be bombarded with them.

 

It’s one thing to sprinkle a word not often used here and there. If the sentence is constructed correctly most people will figure out what the word means. A sentence with several ten-gallon words isn’t going to make your story any more impressive. Yes, it’s about the writing and correct grammar but more so it’s the story. When I read I like to be transported into the world the writer creates. If I have to stop and look up words every few minutes I will be frustrated.

 

As writers, we have to keep in mind that most readers only read at a six-grade level. That’s the level of most newspapers are written in. There are words that are pretty and you just have to use them and that’s okay. I just suggest you spread them around a bit.

 

Do you use words that aren’t used in everyday language in your writing?

Do you think it makes your work more impressive?

 

Last week I shared with you guys that I sent an agent five pages of Hidden Temptation. No, I haven’t heard from them and I know I won’t. I decided to read those five pages and found I still have my tenses screwed up. I know I should have read it before I pressed send. However if she gets to the end of page five she’ll want to know what happens next. That’s a good thing I think.

 

Anyway, I’m editing Hidden Temptation again. I asked my friend, the writer to wait until I finish this edit. I decided to change it back to the present tense and keep their thoughts and memories in past tense.

What do you think?

Do you think that will work?

 

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

It is What it Was

A lesson I learned from blogging was to be aware of my tenses. For me, it was and still is a major hurdle for me to jump. I get confused and apparently the reader who pointed out I was mixing my tenses got confused too.

 

 

When I started Hidden Temptation I started writing it in the present tense. It proved to be a little difficult.  In Hidden Temptation, there are a few flashbacks, more like memories that are in the past tense. I’ve questioned other writers on a Facebook forum. I was told many writers mix their tenses in their novels. I, however, was mixing my tenses in the same sentences.  I guess that was why agents didn’t respond to my queries. I appeared to be a novice.  This was why I had to edit Hidden Temptation for the seventh time.

 

 

No matter how good your story line is, if you grammar isn’t correct you will have difficulty getting readers to read past the first page. Not completely true, because my friends who read Hidden Temptation didn’t mention it.  But then I discovered not all my readers were honest. I mentioned in an earlier post that I read a friend’s book with errors falling off the pages.  The writer told me their spouse edited for them. You would think your spouse would be honest.

 

 

After I took a couple of classes and read a few books. I wrote two screenplays about twenty years ago.  Writing a script was like writing a short story.  I learned that one page equals one minute.  You have twenty minutes, give or take to capture a viewer’s attention. If you fail to pique their interest in that time they will probably change the channel.

 

 

I don’t know how many pages an average reader will read before they close a book, they deem poorly written.  I’m not an average reader because I will continue to read a poorly written story and one not too compelling because I’m attached to the characters and/or the writer introduced the dilemma early. I would read a poorly written book to the end because my curiosity was piqued. I would shake my head and re-write as read though.

 

So tell me, do you read poorly written books because you want to find out what happens? Do you have difficulty with tenses? Do you have any tricks to help you correct your tenses?

 

Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

Unnecessary Words

I read this blog post on Shirley McLain’s blog. Words to Seek Destroy in Your Writing. She shares a lot of writing tips. I’m sharing this particular piece because during my editing I found that I use but, yet, however often and those words are really unnecessary.  I use those words in conversation. I use them when I write my blog post. I’m aware of it and make corrections accordingly. After reading Shirley McLain’s article, I found that I use another word that isn’t needed. THEN.

 

So, oh wait I don’t need to write “so”. I’m telling a story and as I write it should be clear that after this happens that happens. It’s not needed to go from one action to the next. Check out these sentences.

 

  1. I took the garbage out then went to the store.
  2. After I took the garbage out I went to the store.My First Edit

 

In my opinion, I think sentence B flows better.  What do you think? This is a quick fix. I’m using the ‘find’ feature to look for ‘then’ and edit.

 

Jackie over at To Breathe is to Write said on my post My First Editing  “editing is a good thing, but you need to quit it at some point and just put it out there.” She is absolutely right. I know Hidden Temptation will never be perfect. I want it to be, I would like to find all the errors.  I know I won’t. I can only hope that with my next projects I will use all the things I learned while completing and editing Hidden Temptation. Hoping my first draft will be more polished when I begin my first edit. A dollar and a dream is all it takes to win the lottery. It’s possible, right?

 

After publishing Pages of Pain and Whispers I Silently Heard I found errors.  I was distraught, I felt guilty or maybe it was shame for those who  purchased copies of my books  with  errors. A few weeks ago I edited both my books of poetry.  I know I can do this with Hidden Temptation when and if I find errors later. I would like to avoid that though. People will spend good money, I hope, for Hidden Temptation. I don’t want them to be disappointed.  I believe if I present a near perfect product people won’t mind spending on the next one.  I’m thinking it’s like going to a restaurant and getting food poisoning, you aren’t likely to go back. If you had a meal that was lip-smacking good you’ll go back without hesitation.

 

Following Jackie’s advice, I decided to give myself a target date March 30th, 2016 to release Hidden Temptation. I asked Dwight Garland the artist who created the cover for Whispers I Silently Heard to help me with the cover for Hidden Temptation. I’m giving him a deadline. I’m not paying him. His compensation is expanding his portfolio. So I can’t really rush someone who is doing me a favor.

 

 

Have you written a book?  How many edits did you personally do?

 

Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about It is What it Was

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

Introducing Characters 

I  like to introduce my characters to my readers and I want my readers to know who each my characters are and remember them. I do it slowly and individually.  I think if I threw out a bunch of characters all at once my reader would get confused. I know you guys are smart but if you suffer from CRS (can’t remember shit) like I do, you lose track of who is who as you read.  I have gone back in books to  look up a character that was introduced earlier in the book to try to remember who they are. My goal was/is to make my characters memorable so you don’t have to go back and figure out who they are. I know good luck with that, right?

 

 

In Hidden Temptation, I know who my characters are and how everyone is connected to my protagonist, Odette. I know what’s going on and I want my readers to  be able to follow effortlessly. There are many folks in Odette’s life but I don’t think there are too many. She has her parents, siblings, co-workers, and of course, her lovers. Some people are insignificant and just get an honorable mention.  But they may return in the sequel Revealing Temptation.

 

 

Have you ever gone to a party with a friend and get introduced to a bunch of people at one time. For me, I tend to forget who everyone is until I have a personal encounter that would help me become familiar with them. Later when my friend and I talk about the party she would say something like remember Nancy, she was the one in the low-cut yellow sweater and kept giggling loud. Now I remember who Nancy was.

 

 

During one of my editing’s I focused on character development. I tried to give distinct voices and little habits that would ease them into my reader’s subconscious. It was my goal to gently bring you into the world of Hidden Temptation. I know how it was going to end and how all the characters and plots connect.  My task, I believe is taking you on a journey with me. I hope I bring you along without rushing to the end. I think I did a good job. The only way to be sure will be for you to read Hidden Temptation when it’s released.

 

 

I have scenes in Hidden Temptation where six or more people are talking but think I wrote it so everyone would be easily identified and my readers would know who everyone was without getting confused. I don’t think I should have tons of characters in a 278-page book. Have you ever read a script or even the credits after a movie?  You may have noticed characters that are needed to make a scene believable but aren’t essential for the story so they didn’t get names. Characters like store clerks or  cashiers. I don’t think nameless characters take anything away from the storyline. But as creator, to my novel world, I know everyone’s name. Did that sound ominous? Okay, I still need work on descriptions, a discussion for another post.

 

 

As I work on this 7th edit I’m tweaking little habits and distinguishing telltale traits for my characters. Like you know would know when a character was lying without me spelling it out because that character does  the thing every time they tell a lie.

 

 

I read some years ago, I don’t remember where but  if you show it’s effortless for the reader to follow you. I wanted to engage my reader in my story.  Between the following two examples which do you think tells and which shows the action?  And why do you think so? How can we improve on showing? Let’s discuss it in the thread.

  1. She was so angry it showed on her face and she quickly walked away from him.
  2. She put her hands on her hips, cut her eyes and twisted her lips,  threw her hands in the air and stomped away from him shaking her head from side to side.

I’m not perfect, oh so very far from it.  I’m editing Hidden Temptation for the 7th time because there is always something needing tweaking. I’m editing for the 7th time because I can’t afford to pay someone to edit for me.  I have a retired principal that offered to critique but she just embarked on a new romance. Why read a romance when you can live a romance right?

 

 

My other friends and family who read Hidden Temptation have pointed out this or that but tend to ignore major flaws.  One person said there are some typos but your publisher will help you with those. Right!  I have to get a publisher. A person not in the writing world doesn’t know how hard it is for an unknown to get an agent no less a publisher.  I had people in a wide range of ages and backgrounds read Hidden Temptation and they find it interesting and engaging. But I think they don’t want to hurt my feelings or that I can’t handle the truth so they don’t point out what they see wrong. I have a writer friend who published on Amazon recently, the story is good but there are so many typos I wanted to highlight it for them.  When I mentioned it I was told their spouse edited it for them. I told them, if they don’t want to take heed, then that it is on them.  For me I want to know.  I want my book to be in the best possible shape. Tell me what you see wrong.

 

 

 

©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

01/21/16

 

Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about What’s My Genre?

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

My First Editing

 

If you are reading this I know you are smart.  So I will not keep telling you the same thing over and over.  Because I know you are smart.  So, often when we write we think our reader aren’t going to get what we’re saying or forget what we wrote.  But I know you guys are smart.  I don’t need to tell you the same thing over and over. Right?

 

After I completed Hidden Temptation and did my first editing.  I found a lot of redundancy.  I would think. “Will the reader remember that little thing about Odette or that detail about her environment?”  If I wrote it clear enough more than likely you will. If it’s important to move the story forward you will remember.  But guarantee if I wrote it again, and again you will scratch your head and say didn’t she write that already? Or maybe you might think it’s something important and it’s really not.  If you wrote something in chapter one and it comes up again in chapter ten maybe a refresher is needed but I would do it with a little re-wording. But if you’re in the same chapter I think you should try to avoid the repeating. I know when I read the same thing over and over I get annoyed especially if it’s not a vital piece of information. That slows my reading down and makes me wonder why the writer keeps repeating that piece of information.

 

During my first edit of Hidden Temptation, I checked for spelling and grammar errors. I actually check for those each time I edit. I always miss something, but that’s normal for me. Anyone who’s been following Silently Heard Once knows I make all kinds of careless typos.  I do read over my work maybe I need to wear my glasses.  I think I’ve gotten better after writing Hidden Temptation .

 

Consistency is the next thing I checked for. I make sure if one character had blue eyes in chapter two he still had blue eyes in chapter fifteen unless he wore contact lens.  What I did to help me keep up with each character was to create a profile. I put their name, age, physical features, who they’re related to and any other information that I might  need to refer to later.

 

I did this after I finished Hidden Temptation while I was editing to make it easier. But with my sequel, Revealing Temptation, I am completing profiles as I go along. I think this will make writing process of Revealing Temptation easier.  I did a lot of back and forth with Hidden Temptation.  I became pretty adept with the “find” feature in Word. Using this profile sheet enabled me to know things about my characters that my readers don’t know and may never know. I’m sure there are things you don’t know about your best friend that you’ve known for years.

 

Even though I looked for typos, grammar errors, redundancy, and consistency during my first read through, I do it over and over when I edit.  I am currently editing for the seventh time.  I’ve had a few people read my drafts and they will point things out and I would go back and edit some more. I start at page one and go all the way to page two hundred and seventy-eight. Do I get annoyed? Hell yes I get annoyed but I know Hidden Temptation is getting better because each time I edit I find less and fewer errors and I read through it much faster.

 

Remember you work is yours, you put a lot of time into completing it.  Nobody, unless you can pay to have it professionally edited is going to help you fix everything that is wrong with your beloved hard work.  Yes they may point out  inconsistencies here and there and a few redundant parts. But they aren’t going to highlight and point out where the errors are.  You will have to do that yourself if you don’t have someone helping you who is as invested as you are.

 

As much as I have begun to hate, I mean hate editing I will do it until I am satisfied with my end product.  I want my readers to enjoy my story and not have to go back and try to figure out what I was trying to write. My readers deserve the best. In the end, I hope that all my efforts will prevail in the finished product. I dream of being on the New York Times Best Seller list.

 

So edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit!!!!!!!!

 

This is what my Character Chart looks like.  I can write notes on the bottom and the back pages.  I write in pencil so I can erase.

Name
Age
DOB
Mother
Father
sister
sister
brother
brother
other
other
employment
residence

 

  Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about how I introduced my characters.

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

So You Think You Can Write

I wish I could write like you, they would say to me. I would tell them, you could, just write, it was easy.

 

That was before I attempted to write my first novel, Hidden Temptation. Oh, it is so much more, let me tell you. Just because you can tell a good story doesn’t mean you can write a story well. It is so much more difficult then writing a short story. In a short story, you have a character that you take from beginning to end. It’s easy to go back and add little hints once you know the story ends. Now try to do the same thing with writing a full-length novel. You may have seventy-five pages and want to add a nervous tic that will work well to identify a certain character later. That’s going to take time and patience lots of patience to fill in those gaps.

 

Writing 101- you have the beginning, middle and the end. Easy right? Wrong. When you start a novel you have an idea of what you want to write about. Pick a genre, I choose romance. Boy meets girl and they fall in love. Boring! So girl, needs character and so does the boy. They need conflict. Hum, more characters and they, in turn, need character. Now you have characters with character and you have plots and subplots. You are typing along and you stop and ask yourself.

 

“Are all these characters, plots, and sub plots coming together?”

“Is the story engaging?”

“Is the story moving along?”

 

While I was writing Hidden Temptation Odette my protagonist was developing without me realizing it. She took a life of her own. She had a job, a past, a family, and they all played a part in the story. But do they move the story along? I think so, that is after I deleted some prose that I loved but found was not necessary.

 

There are so many books, magazines, and blogs available that give great writing advice and I read as many of them as I could get my hands on. I used every hint and trick to complete Hidden Temptation.  I literally put my heart and soul into it. I bet you heard some of the same things I heard. I tried to follow as much advice as I could. You write and write and wait to the end to edit. Okay, that’s fine but what happen with me is while writing Hidden Temptation I would lose my train of thought and have to re-read to find that thought again. So as I’m re-reading I’m editing. Ideas a rise and my fingers start tapping on the keyboard like I’m on a marathon run. Wait!! I should put a hint about that in the beginning. Like I said Hidden Temptation took a life of its own. I had an idea but my muse did the work.

 

Another thing, I would come down with a severe case of writer’s block, laziness. This happened several times in the course of writing Hidden Temptation I would be on chapter thirteen and want to start back up. But I couldn’t remember where I left off or what was going on so I had to go back to the beginning  to catch up and while I was there I would start to edit and re-write all over again. I tip my hat to those writers who write all the way to the end before editing. Maybe those writers have written more, have more experience, sold more books but just like you and me, we have to do what works for us.

 

Hidden Temptation isn’t published yet. I am still editing I’ll share more about my editing in time. I need a book jacket. I need to write a dedication page, a blurb, an acknowledgment page and a thank you page. I hope that you will follow me through the process.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

1/16/16

Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about my first editing and eliminating redundancy.


Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.