Hidden Temptation Final Synopsis

I’m tired.  I have stayed focus on this conference with Penguin Books.  I’ve been tweaking, deleting, rewriting, and reading these words over and over.  I’m sharing them this last time with you. The conference is in 4 days and I can’t see anymore typos or areas that need improvement. Will you show some love and let me know if something is not right or could be improved.

 

After ODETTE HAWKINS, the third girl born to LYDIA and THOMAS HAWKINS there are complications that causes Lydia to have a complete hysterectomy. This ends any chance of Thomas having a legitimate son. Lydia sits in the bed nursing Odette Thomas ignores the baby and squeezes Lydia’s cheeks together and bangs her head into the headboard. This is the start of years of abuse.

 

Lydia is from a time when women quietly endured the black eyes, sprain wrist, broken arms, ribs, and nose. Odette’s sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBINSON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try over and over to convince Lydia to leave Thomas to no avail. While the sisters still live at home they try to protect rescue their mother. Odette always hides when these violent tantrums and outbursts erupts.

 

Odette’s first and last boyfriend THURMAN is possessive, one day he chokes Odette in the school gym. Her sisters go to the high school, against her wishes. The sisters attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. This is when Odette decides to never have a serious relationship and creates her dating rule that will shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex. Married men are already in committed relationship.

 

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman with a Carmel completion, high cheekbones, a slender nose and thin lips. Her shoulder length hair is dark brown with blond streaks. She has champagne size breast, a small waist and wide hips. Despite being an introvert Odette will speak her mind when necessary.

 

 

Odette is not very sociable she only has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters, who are nine and twelve years older than her, to do the same.

 

 

Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her. Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothing, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has excellent health coverage and a life insurance policy through her company that also matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation a year. What else does she need?

 

 

At the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK, who is the new UPS delivery man where Odette works in. Wilhelm’s father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran who becomes addicted to heroin to treat his PTSD after the veteran doctors declares him well. Edward steals from his family and lies to them. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone but his mother, ARABELL POLK a retired school teacher who has a stroke. She is a resident of the same nursing home Odette’s mother is in.

 

 

Wilhelm is on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he’s not married. He doesn’t care about Odette’s rule. He just wants to spend time exploring her sexually. After meeting they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives. They bump into each other at work, in their neighborhood even at the diner where they have breakfast.

 

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the current married man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Odette is furious; she thought they were going to spend the night together. After a quickie Oscar leaves and makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of several hotel amenities such as ordering expensive room service, cleaning out the mini bar and helping themselves to the complimentary bathrobes when they check out. They leave an excessive bill.

 

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the outrages charges on their credit card. Oscar is enraged, this is the beginning of a dangerous game of back and forth revenge against him and Odette.

 

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE. Tom is jealous of Odette’s relationship with the owners of the advertising agency. After Toms’ termination, he blames Odette and vows revenge.

 

 

KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing, after having several nights of hot, slippery, and climatic sex game Wilhelm starts ignoring Kia’s calls and texts. She decides to follow Wilhelm. She discovers he’s spending time with another woman, her jealousy thoughts take over. Kia is looking for a husband to secure a United States resident card. Kia believes Wilhelm will be perfect and is not willing to give up.

 

 

The hostilities developing between Oscar, Tom, and Kia may prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

HIDDEN TEMPTATION is a story that involves the challenges most families face. Odette is emotionally scarred after witnessing several years of her mother’s black eyes and broken bones from her father who ignores her because she was born a girl. This makes Odette an introvert and cautious when developing friendships outside her family. She believes her rule dating only married men is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.

 

 

Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry, Odette is not interest in.

 

If it doesn’t work out with Penguin Books here’s the blurb for when I self publish.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she even learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she’s building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.

 

Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule that she refuses to break. That doesn’t stop Wilhelm from pursuing her.

 

Odette has several conflicts with her office manager Tom. Wilhelm’s booty call becomes jealous of Odette. While Odette’s lover Oscar is plotting revenge for causing friction between him and his wife.

 

Will the hostilities developing prove fatal for Odette or Wilhelm or maybe both? Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase HIDDEN TEMPTATION and find out today.

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Synopsis for Hidden Temptation

After ODETTE HAWKINS is born her mother, LYDIA HAWKINS is forced to have a hysterectomy. This disappoints her father, THOMAS HAWKINS who desperately wants a legitimate son to carry on his name.

 

Thomas ignores Odette and viciously abuses Lydia. Her sisters, JEANETTE HAWKINS-ROBISON and LYNETTE HAWKINS try to protect and help Lydia while Odette hides from Thomas violent tantrums and outbursts.

 

Odette first and last boyfriend, THURMAN is possessive and chokes her. Her sisters go to the high school against Odette’s wishes. They attack Thurman in front of his basketball teammates while Odette hides. Odette decides never have a serious relationship and creates rules to shield her from being mentally and physically abused by men. She has no interest in having a meaningful relationship outside of sex.

 

Odette is in her early thirties. She’s a beautiful woman who speaks her mind. She has one friend outside her family. Odette’s mother is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s and lives in a nursing home. Odette visits her faithfully and encourages her sisters who are nine and twelve years older than her visit their mother also. Her sisters don’t approve of Odette’s life style and believe they know what’s best for her.

 

Odette doesn’t care what her sisters think. She’s a receptionist for a lucrative advertising agency. Her income pays her rent and keeps her in designer clothes, shoes, and pocketbooks. She has an excellent health and life insurance policies, and the company matches her 401 contribution. She gets two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation time a year.

 

During the beginning of this unseasonable warm spring, Odette meets WILHELM POLK. His father, EDWARD POLK, is a Vietnam veteran whose becomes a heroin addict to treat his PTS. Edward steals from his family and lies about it. Wilhelm recently divorces his wife for cheating. Because of his past relationships with his father and ex-wife Wilhelm doesn’t trust anyone except his mother, ARABELL POLK.

 

Wilhelm is the new UPS man delivering to Odette’s office. Wilhelm’s on a mission to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. He’s attracted to Odette and she’s attracted to him, but he lacks the one thing that will convince her to date him. He doesn’t care he just wants to spend some time screwing her. After they meet they discover their corner of the world is small and it’s impossible to avoid each other in their daily lives.

 

OSCAR PEOPLE, the man Odette is sleeping with invites her to a five-star hotel after work. Thinking they were going to spend the night together Odette becomes furious after they have a quickie and he leaves. He makes Odette feel like a prostitute. As pay back she invites her friend, HYMIE JONES to join her for the night. Together they take advantage of all the hotel amenities and accrue an expensive bill.

 

Oscar’s wife, MARSHA receives a call about the excessive charges to their credit card. Oscar is enraged that his wife learns about the hotel charges. Odette and Oscar engage in a dangerous game of revenge against each other.

 

Odette is also having ongoing conflicts with the office manager at her job, TOM SNIDE and KIA JEAN-LOUIS, one of the women Wilhelm is seeing. Both are jealous of Odette. These hostilities may prove fatal.

 

What makes Hidden Temptation Unique?

 

Hidden Temptation is a story that involves the challenges most family face. Odette is emotionally scarred from witnessing her mother’s vicious abuse and being ignored by her father. This makes her an introvert and cautious about developing friendships outside her family. She believes her dating rule is a safe venue to protect her emotional well-being.
Despite Odette’s dysfunctional upbringing she has a strong bond with her mother and sisters. They don’t like her dangerous life style and wants her to find a good man, fall in love, and marry a concept Odette has no interest in.

 

Blurb

 

Odette’s life becomes a nightmare before she learns how to dream. Ignored by her abusive father and physically hurt by her first boyfriend Odette continually adds mortar to the wall she starts building to protect herself from pain and heart ache.
Wilhelm a recent divorcee wants a taste of Odette’s tempting body. But she has a strict unmoral rule she refuses to break.
Will Wilhelm be able to entice Odette? Purchase Hidden Temptation and find out today.

 

 

Be honest do you see any typos? Are you curious? Do you want to read Hidden Temptation based on what I described here? Please help I have until Friday June 3rd to come up with the words to impress US editors at Penguin Books a subsidiary of Random House.

Re-write! Re-Write!

Don’t read one of your grandmother’s old, boring love stories read this hot, daring, and juicy new book. About Odette’s struggles and disappointments that influences her to date only happily married men. Those who plan to stay that way. Men who only want discreet lust with no strings attach. At the same time Odette protects her heart .

When Wilhelm, the new UPS guy delivers to Odette’s office immediately the attraction between them creates fireworks.

Wilhelm is recently divorce and vows to sleep with as many women as possible to make up for lost time. He becomes obsess with making Odette one of his conquests but she continually rejects his flirting and continues her affairs with married men.

Can they overcome their walls of protection? Or will they fail to let their hearts submit to love?

I guess you guys are getting tired of my re-writes. I am too. What do you say about this one?

What’s My Genre?

Hidden Temptation started as a romance novel. Odette my protagonist has some issues about falling in love, love is taboo for her.  The story would be boring if she didn’t right? She has sisters who are older, well you know sisters. You could imagine. No spoilers sorry. Odette has a job, a friend and a lover or two.

 

So how would I sub list that as genre Romance /family? There’s graphic sex in Hidden Temptation too. Those who can’t do it write about . . . no, I think it’s they teach. Well, I could do that too. Seriously my sex chapters (yes plural) are steamy and I considered toning them down. But thinking about Shades of Grey By E. L. James I thought maybe I should heat it up some more. But I won’t, in my opinion, Shades was smut, straight up porn. My sex in Hidden Temptation is pretty detailed I won’t lie. Maybe a wee bit perverted but they’re sprinkled throughout the book.  There is more story than body bumping.

 

Toward the end of Hidden Temptation, there is an incident that turns it into a who done it mystery.  So how do I classify my book, “A family saga with a who done it mystery, erotic love story.” Sounds a little confusing right? But life can be messy so Hidden Temptation is a little messy. If you were looking for sweet girl meets nice boy Hidden Temptation is not that book. Odette and Wilhelm are nice but they have baggage and love is not what either of them is looking for. It’s sex yep a spoiler they want sex and they get it. The question is do they have sex with each other? For that information, you will need to read Hidden Temptation to find out.

 

 

I read an article in Writer’s Digest that said many books in today’s market have crossover genre. Well, this is certainly true of Hidden Temptation.  I think I mentioned I started Hidden Temptation with an idea. I saw the name Wilhelm in a book I was reading years ago and I liked the spelling, just as simple as that he was going to be my antagonist.  The original title was, Surrendering to Desire or Tempting Desire. One of my beta readers suggested Hidden Temptation.
As I started writing Hidden Temptation my muse, who really needs a name, decided to go  in a different direction. Julia, that’s my going to be my muse’s name. Julia got me excited and I ran behind her trying to catch up with her ideas. The end result is a body of work I am extremely satisfied with and can’t wait to share. Are you excited? What do you think about the genre based on the little info I shared?

 

©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

1/22/16

 

I think my twist I have good conflict and everything connects.  I think I told a good story and I think I told it well.  Well, it is mostly a story told around mental and physical attraction so I guess the genre is Romance.

 

Visit Thursday I’m going to tell you about Unnecessary Words

 

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.

Introducing Characters 

I  like to introduce my characters to my readers and I want my readers to know who each my characters are and remember them. I do it slowly and individually.  I think if I threw out a bunch of characters all at once my reader would get confused. I know you guys are smart but if you suffer from CRS (can’t remember shit) like I do, you lose track of who is who as you read.  I have gone back in books to  look up a character that was introduced earlier in the book to try to remember who they are. My goal was/is to make my characters memorable so you don’t have to go back and figure out who they are. I know good luck with that, right?

 

 

In Hidden Temptation, I know who my characters are and how everyone is connected to my protagonist, Odette. I know what’s going on and I want my readers to  be able to follow effortlessly. There are many folks in Odette’s life but I don’t think there are too many. She has her parents, siblings, co-workers, and of course, her lovers. Some people are insignificant and just get an honorable mention.  But they may return in the sequel Revealing Temptation.

 

 

Have you ever gone to a party with a friend and get introduced to a bunch of people at one time. For me, I tend to forget who everyone is until I have a personal encounter that would help me become familiar with them. Later when my friend and I talk about the party she would say something like remember Nancy, she was the one in the low-cut yellow sweater and kept giggling loud. Now I remember who Nancy was.

 

 

During one of my editing’s I focused on character development. I tried to give distinct voices and little habits that would ease them into my reader’s subconscious. It was my goal to gently bring you into the world of Hidden Temptation. I know how it was going to end and how all the characters and plots connect.  My task, I believe is taking you on a journey with me. I hope I bring you along without rushing to the end. I think I did a good job. The only way to be sure will be for you to read Hidden Temptation when it’s released.

 

 

I have scenes in Hidden Temptation where six or more people are talking but think I wrote it so everyone would be easily identified and my readers would know who everyone was without getting confused. I don’t think I should have tons of characters in a 278-page book. Have you ever read a script or even the credits after a movie?  You may have noticed characters that are needed to make a scene believable but aren’t essential for the story so they didn’t get names. Characters like store clerks or  cashiers. I don’t think nameless characters take anything away from the storyline. But as creator, to my novel world, I know everyone’s name. Did that sound ominous? Okay, I still need work on descriptions, a discussion for another post.

 

 

As I work on this 7th edit I’m tweaking little habits and distinguishing telltale traits for my characters. Like you know would know when a character was lying without me spelling it out because that character does  the thing every time they tell a lie.

 

 

I read some years ago, I don’t remember where but  if you show it’s effortless for the reader to follow you. I wanted to engage my reader in my story.  Between the following two examples which do you think tells and which shows the action?  And why do you think so? How can we improve on showing? Let’s discuss it in the thread.

  1. She was so angry it showed on her face and she quickly walked away from him.
  2. She put her hands on her hips, cut her eyes and twisted her lips,  threw her hands in the air and stomped away from him shaking her head from side to side.

I’m not perfect, oh so very far from it.  I’m editing Hidden Temptation for the 7th time because there is always something needing tweaking. I’m editing for the 7th time because I can’t afford to pay someone to edit for me.  I have a retired principal that offered to critique but she just embarked on a new romance. Why read a romance when you can live a romance right?

 

 

My other friends and family who read Hidden Temptation have pointed out this or that but tend to ignore major flaws.  One person said there are some typos but your publisher will help you with those. Right!  I have to get a publisher. A person not in the writing world doesn’t know how hard it is for an unknown to get an agent no less a publisher.  I had people in a wide range of ages and backgrounds read Hidden Temptation and they find it interesting and engaging. But I think they don’t want to hurt my feelings or that I can’t handle the truth so they don’t point out what they see wrong. I have a writer friend who published on Amazon recently, the story is good but there are so many typos I wanted to highlight it for them.  When I mentioned it I was told their spouse edited it for them. I told them, if they don’t want to take heed, then that it is on them.  For me I want to know.  I want my book to be in the best possible shape. Tell me what you see wrong.

 

 

 

©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

01/21/16

 

Visit next Tuesday I’m going to tell you about What’s My Genre?

Disclaimer:  I completed Hidden Temptation, my first completed novel and this blog is a humble attempt to create interest in its debut. I am not a professional and this is no way an educational guide.  I am merely sharing my writing experience, what I picked up reading other novels, and what I learned in the process of completing Hidden Temptation.

I hope my experience helps fellow writers create a higher quality of art. I do not presume that Hidden Temptation is perfect or of professional quality but I do believe it is close. Your opinions, thoughts, and feedback are most welcome. Please feel free to create an open thread and share thoughts, and opinions so that we can help each other grow as a community of writers.